Author Archive for Secret Owl

Soundike - Yeah, that’s not legal.

Good evening, everyone! I would like to direct all of you to the following link:
Soundike

Notice anything strange about that? If you don’t, go here:
CLLCT

Now do you see anything strange? Oh my - they’re selling my CD! For money! When it’s obviously free right there!
I’m slightly honored, but mostly annoyed. What really bothers me the most is that they have the following quote on their website:

“Our music service is absolutely legal in all countries and all states.”

Like, woah. That’s a pretty bold statement! I would like to humbly disagree; just because it’s legal in Tijuana or Taiwan or wherever the hell Soundike (what the hell kind of name is that, anyway?) is located, doesn’t mean it’s legal in other places.

So, what do I do? I call piracy! Yeah, you heard me right. Soundike is reverse-pirating my free music and trying to make money off of it! I demand retribution!

So, Soundike, I’m giving you until 12 PM tomorrow night to compensate me, or I shall call the RIAA!

My demanded payment? I demand a hundred well-groomed kittens, delivered to my house promptly! Also, they must be carried to my home via fancy couch - any crates and heads will roll.

SOUNDIKE, BEWARE! YOUR TIME HAS COME, THE SECRET OWL HATH SPOKEN!

Good Night and Good Morning - Studentin (2008)

Would you like to hear an amazing album? Does some melancholy, soothing sadpop sound okay? It’s nothing spectacular. It’s not trying to be. And that’s why it’s beautiful. It’s the kind of music that you’d normally sit and read a book to, or fall asleep to, but you can’t. You can’t focus on anything but the songs.


Good Night and Good Morning - The Book Writer

Beautiful! And you can download it on CLLCT, hooray!

The Strangers, in theatres now!

strangers-poster-tiny.jpg

The Strangers! It’s out now! In theatres! If you have trouble sleeping, you need to see this, stat! I had a nice nap during this “terrifying” movie.

I’m not sure what’s wrong with people these days. Quite possibly, the ten million dollar budget for this movie went completely towards paying bloggers to write good reviews. Because I can’t really see anything else they could have used it for.

Basically, the plot is this: there isn’t one! Oh hey, it’s a couple at some house in some place! Lookie there! Oh, wow! They get killed by three people in masks, with no motive or anything! None at all! I assumed they were going to live in the house, or fucking something, but nope! They just felt like killing some people. For kicks, I guess.

Of course, though, because the movie is an hour long, they can’t have the people die too quickly! First we have boring, awkward scenes with the couple. Not talking, just sitting around and doing normal shit in an irritating way. And then! My god, a girl is knocking on the door! TERROR.

From there, the rest of the movie is nothing but blurry shots of absolutely nothing. Every character in this movie walks around at snail-speed, as if the director is standing behind them the entire time, motioning “NO! SLOWER! WE’RE ONLY TEN MINUTES INTO THE MOVIE!”

There’s very little dialogue between the characters, and the most noise you’re going to hear is Liv Tyler crying/screaming at absolutely nothing, or creepy noises (that will eventually give you a headache). There’s no action. There’s no artistic value in this movie, no interesting shots or panoramas or anything.

Everything about this movie is terrible. This is easily the worst movie I’ve ever seen. Just…damn. And shame on those bloggers that’ve given this a good review.

I hate everyone.

Belly Boat - Dear Robert Hanoy (2007)

I first found Belly Boat thanks to Tinyfolk, who is an absolutely wonderful lovely fellow for uploading their music.

Belly Boat is two girls that are quite possibly faeries. They make wonderfully strange music reminiscent of the Microphones* on LSD, and they make it with piano tunes and sweeping accordion bleats.


Belly Boat - City

You can download Dear Robert Hanoy at CLLCT! Hooray!

*Also, they totally were on an album with Phil Elvrum. That alone is worth a listen.

Tycho - Cascade (Ghostly Swim)

tycho

Tycho happens to be one of my favorite musicians, and if you haven’t heard him, you are missing out. He reminds me of the Boards of Canada and PBS, and his graphic design is a constant inspiration and influence to my own.

There’s a new track on his myspace, and it’s absolutely brilliant. I can easily listen to it over and over again, it’s lovely and trip-hoppy and ambient and I think I’ve just listened to it six times while writing this.

It’s called “Cascade” and it’s from his album “Ghostly Swim”.
Check it out on his myspace, or listen here.


Tycho - Cascade

The Roaring Comp Released Into the Wild

Roaring Nineties Roamin’ Over Thisaway
In case you haven’t seen on CLLCT yet, the compilation is finished and for sale. I had lots of fun drawing them, although I went a little overboard with some…However, they all look pretty much similar, some are just less similar than others. One even looks like Chewbacca! At least, I think so.

If you were wondering, I did do some editing in Photoshop. Nothing major, just my attempts to fix the quality…I don’t have a camera, you see, so I used a toaster instead. Even after my editing, they still look ten times better when you’re sitting there holding it in your hand. I used some nice-ass pens!

Now, those of you who pre-ordered (probably the only people reading this blog), I’m mailing your copy tomorrow without a doubt. And they’ll be the best of the best. I was going to mail them today, but I need access to a printer that I can’t get access to until long after the postal workers are asleep. As for your bonuses for pre-ordering? Well, let me say this: you will never ever regret pre-ordering. Your gift for helping me out when so few would - every time I make something for the collective, be it a shirt (i’ll be making lots of these soon - missus owl just got a screenprinting kit), a comp, or a paper-mache flamingo, you’re going to get one for free. For as long as the collective is around, which means your grandkids are going to be getting weird shit in the mail and wondering why the hell someone would send them a bonsai tree.

Oh, and you all now have magical powers on CLLCT. Use them with wisdom and benevolence. You’ll see what I’m talking about.

I love all of you. Thank you.

—————————————————————————————————–

Here’s the Track Listing!
1. James Eric - More Than Words (Extreme)
2. The Brooke - Wonderwall (Oasis)
3. Patrick Ripoll - Fu-Gee-La (Fugees)
4. Shelby Sifers and the Sarcastic Dharma Society - Roll To Me (Del Amitri)
5. Existential Hero - Say My Name (Destiny’s Child)
6. Grammar Rodeo - Lick It (20 Fingers)
7. fire island, AK - Angel (Sarah McLachlan)
8. Tinyfolk - Can You Feel the Love Tonight? (Elton John)
9. Eyes For Volume - Losing My Religion (REM)
10. The Brooke - Jamie (Weezer)
11. Dustin and the Furniture - Semi-charmed Life (Third Eye Blind)
12. Patrick Ripoll - How’s It Gonna Be (Third Eye Blind)
13. novemthree - Unbreak My Heart Oh Baby (Toni Braxton)
14. Campbell - Kiss Me (Sixpence None The Richer)
15. The Not Band - Be With You (Patti Scialfa)
16. Uggamuga - Wannabe (Spice Girls)
17. Eyes For Volume - Iris (Goo Goo Dolls)
18. Manipulator Alligator - Waterfalls (TLC)
19. porches - Same In The End (Sublime)
20. stars and thunderclouds - Bittersweet Symphony (Verve)
21. fire island, AK - The Freshman (The Verve Pipe)
22. Children’s Guide - Kiss From A Rose (Seal)
23. Fudge - Suck My Kiss (Red Hot Chili Peppers)
24. Seven Dynasties Of Glass Children - Lovefool (Cardigans)
25. SFIAS and The Anchorites - Love You Always Forever (Donna Lewis)
26. Lather - The Boyz-n-the-Hood (Eazy E)

The Talking Goat


I have nothing to say that the goat hasn’t already said.

Francois Virot

This guy makes super pretty music, and he’s french.

“my head is blank” absolutely blew me away. I think if Neutral Milk Hotel and the Microphones had a baby, it would sound like that.

I’m also jealous of his supercool artwork.

Spam!

I’m really busy working on the new collective site so today’s entry will not be about music, because that requires me to actually think.

I received this in my email the other day, it’s from a poor fellow named “Alberto George”, and he somehow managed to find a computer and email me (maybe he’s a Secret Owl Society fan?) from Cuba, despite the fact that he’s incredibly poor. The ‘eloquent’ sir wants me to help him with his druggy-inherited 4 million dollars! How could I refuse?

My name is Alberto George, and I am writing you from my home in Santa
Clara, about 165 miles east of Havana, the Capital City of Cuba. Santa
Clara is known for two landmarks; The famous Revolutionary,CheGuevera
is buried here; and it is home to one of Cuba’s largest universities,La
Universidad Central”Martha Abreu” de Las Villas.

This is a compelling story, and I beg you to be patient and read
through to the end…I was adopted in1962, at age 14 months by
Mr.Giovanni George, the Sugar, cocoa and tobacco millionaire; some say
he also made his fortune from the lucrative illicit drugs
trade.

My adoption brought so much controversy (probably because I am black
and a deaf), that Mr. George was forced by his family to put me into a
foster home at age 5 ,where I stayed until maturity; Like most Cuban
youths,I dreamt of freedom, which every one here knows is called
America; like most youths, in time, I joined an Anti-Castro group and
that merited automatic 24 hours round the clock surveillance by the
Secret Police, but this is also normal in Cuba!

Mr. George, my father nevertheless funded my education through the
above mentioned university, where I graduated in Automobile
Engineering. I am now a mechanic, making just enough to take care of my
wife Maria, and 3 boys, Junior, Jose, and Giovanni. Sadly, My father
died Few months ago; left only his wife and family (he died childless),
and I was not invited to his funeral by his family, but we mourned him
deeply; I had no memory of my real father; but I loved him for his
kindness to me; he frequently defied his family to visit me…When I got
married, he gave my wife a ring present which we later found out was a
diamond ring! His Last Will and testament was read and probated. No
mention was made of me and my family. Understandably,I carried on with
my life.

But before his death; he then invited me and my family, there he told
me that he made the deposit of (FOUR MILLION UNITED STATE
DOLLARS) in a private security deposit firm in Abidjan city of Ivory
coast,that he wanted to use this fund to invest in his cocoa
and tobacco business in Ivory Coast…He then handedall the deposit
documents of the consignment to me andask me to keep it confidential,
that even the Security Deposit Firm does not know that the Consignment
kept in their custody contains money; According to him, hedeposited it
as a family valuables in my name; He thenexplained to me that he has
instructed the Ivory CoastSecurity Deposit Firm to contact me as the
Rightbeneficiary to the consignment; therefore arrange and
ship the consignment to me.
He again warned me to maintain the highest level ofconfidentiality of
the consignment, especially to his family members as they will deny me
the possesion of the money if they find out that such money has been
deposited in my name as the beneficiary! I therefore kept the documents
confidentially as instructed by my late father waiting for the right
time to transfer the consignment to safety abroad and arrange to travel
out of Cuba with my family!

Some weeks ago, I received a letter from the private Security deposit
firm in Ivory Coast, and the contents of that letter put me into shock!
The manager of the Firm asked me to contact them immediately for the
arrangement of transfering my inheritance to me as they are now facing
political crisis/war which may start anytime from now and they never
know when it will come to an end! I kept the letter for a week
without mentioning it to my wife. Eventually I revealed everything to
her…apparently My late father,Mr. George had provided for us after all!

The letter from the Manager explained that the political crisis may
bring about the losing of the consignments in their custody; that they
have alerted all their clients to come forward and claim their
consignments….He also explained to me that according to the terms and
agreement reached with my late father, the consignment deposited as a
family valuables were to be delivered to me (The Beneficiary) as
instructed by my late father; The manager of this firm in his letter
therefore invited me to come forward to Ivory Coast, to claim my
Inheritance! Or arrange with the them to ship the consignment to me.

But this simple invitation to travel to Ivory Coast or arrange with
them to transfer the consignment to Cuba here is fraught with problems!
I have no International Passport! It is impossible to travel out
of Cuba,unless with special permission which will of course take months
of paperwork to procure…As an Anti-Castro sympathizer , I have
absolutely no hope of leaving Cuba legally…The only option is to leave
by illegal ferry to the American Coast of Miami, which is extremely
dangerous…Every one knows that success rate is about 20%, the unlucky
get captured and repatriated back, to prison! But the rich and the
connected have a better chance by using low flying aircraft ( which
will beat the Cuban Radar) to smuggle them selves out! And there is no
way I can transfer the consignment to Cuba here as Cuban government as
well as my family members may seize the money!

I therefore desperately need your help! I need you to contact the
Ivory Coast Company on my behalf and arrange with them to ship the
consignment to you as the “Consignee”; secure the fund from the
Company, Once the money is secured, I will make the usual
underground deal to be smuggled out of Cuba by aircraft, to freedom!

I really need your help urgently! And there is absolutely NO RISK to
you in this transaction; The consignment will arrive your end through
aircargo fully insured with its necessary documents; I and my
family are the ones at risk as we cannot travel out of Cuba easily to
meet with you…

If you are willing to help me recover this my inheritance, please so
indicate in your return reply mail and I will follow up with more
details of the Ivory coast Company contact address and also more
details of this transaction. You will then contact the Ivory Coast
Security Deposit Company as the “Consignee” and thereafter arrange with
them to ship the consignment to you to close the deal on my behalf
and put the (FOUR MILLION DOLLARS) safely into the Banking
system…

In consideration of your expenses during the course of this
transaction, I freely offer you 30% of the total fund…..

Looking forward to your urgent reply,

Sincerely,

Alberto George

HERE IS MY RESPONSE:

Good lord, that’s terrible! I’ll certainly help you out; it’s a good thing you decided to contact the Collective. We’re a very anti-Castro group, and we’ve plenty of money to spare for a good cause. How could I refuse to help my fellow man in need?

I must say, you’re an incredibly lucky man (no offense meant); my grandfather happens to live in Cocody! What’s the address of the firm; I’ll call him as soon as you’ve responded. If everything goes well we can meet you in Florida within two days!

Please respond as quickly as possible, Alberto; I’ll be waiting.

For some reason, he has yet to respond. Perhaps Castro has risen from the dead and eaten him up?

A Drum is ferociously attacking that Window!

A DRUM AND AN OPEN WINDOW!
IS NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING.
ESPECIALLY NOT “THERE WILL BE FIELDS FOR US”.

That’s their album, the one in quotes. And it’s fantastic. It makes me nod my head! The lyrics are brilliant, the music is brilliant, the rhythm is brilliant; everything is brilliant. The songs make you feel like you’re right there with them on their adventures. I keep imagining myself riding around the country in a beat up Oldsmobile (don’t ask me why), always escaping some ensuing mayhem and getting in-betwixt shenanigans wherever I travel.

Also, the songs make me think of Italian food, for some reason.

Nevertheless, this album is fantastic, and very happy! I was already in a happy mood before I listened to it, but if I WAS in a bad mood, now I would be in a good one! It’s that happy. Very happy, yet somehow nostalgic.

I miss the old days. You really never will know how dark it is until you turn the lights off.

Download “There Will Be Fields For Us” here at the collective!
Visit ADAAOW’s myspace!


A Drum and an Open Window - Overcoats